The roaring 20’s and wanting results. Stat.

Ah, the 20’s. It can be torment and toil, exciting and enriching. There’s so many decisions to make by the time you’re 25 that it can be overwhelming, and for many, downright depressing. At 23, I had finished two years of Bible College, worked for a couple years, and still wanted more post-secondary. I was beside myself as to what ‘it’ was I was supposed to do. I knew I wanted to be creative and make an impact. I had applied for film school in LA, university in Nova Scotia, and finally ended up going to college in Lethbridge. At the time, I was either moving out of the country, across the country, or not at all. Well, 3 hours south called my name.

I recall feeling distraught as I tried to decide what was right. What was I supposed to do with my life? Finally, I decided, and went for it.

Would the other paths have been fine? Probably. Business school or an experience in LA may have been fun and brought experiences to write about as well. But at the end of the day, I was so caught up in my purpose, my dreams, what I was supposed to do, that I was consumed with the process.

Lord, I want to DO something for You! Make you proud. Live my purpose. Save sex for marriage. Get an education. Get a secure job. Buy a house. Do all the things I’m supposed to at ‘xx’ age.

The sparking faulty wire with that thinking is that it makes life, well, all about me. I spent more time trying to figure out what my purpose was and how I could please the Lord, than getting to know the One who had made me in the first place. And getting on that train leaves absolutely no room for  God’s creativity and love to move in me. We can get so busy trying to DO for Him, that we completely miss, Him.

I recently read a book by Matt Chandler, Explicit Gospel. It rocked, and IS rocking my world. You should read it! In it he talks about the prophet Isaiah and how God called him to preach to the people of Judah (a portion of Israel, now known as modern day Bethlehem). In Isaiah 6, God calls to Isaiah. He reveals Himself and the prophet is changed. When God calls, Isaiah says, “Lord, here am I, send me!” (vs8). The only thing is, the people that God was sending him to, would never actually turn from their ways. They’d never actually see the truth. And Isaiah knew all of those truths from the beginning. Only a small remnant, a ‘stump’ (vs13) would remain a holy seed that would someday grow again.

photo (2)Here you have an eager prophet who just encountered the living God, receive a calling and be told that he’d never actually ‘succeed’. Yet it was his mission.

As Matt Chandler explains it, Isaiah wasn’t called to be fruitful, but simply to be faithful. “The priority God charges him with is not success, but integrity.” (Explicit Gospel, Matt Chandler).

And so I wrestle with that. As a woman who has lived most of her life wanting to DO, in this season God is calling me to BE. Be His. Be known. Be loved. Be faithful.

And leave the results to Him.

I like results. Stat. Clean. In 30 minutes. With a plan for what’s next 😉

As we ponder decisions and weigh them… Is this my calling? Is this what You want me to do Lord? I wrestle with you. In the desiring to please the Lord, yet know that ultimately, the results are up to Him.

The really cool thing about Isaiah’s story — his book is full of fear not’s, rest in Him, God will redeem, and He has called you by name. His book is full of hope and promise. And the people of Judah would one day know a Messiah, a Saviour, in their very own land.

God has a way of redeeming. Revealing Himself, if we will ask and wait. We just need to trust the timing and the way He does it, up to Him.


{ Fresh Buns, Frogs, and Lighthouses: Purpose in Collection }

My delights as a farm girl came more in the form of what was to be found within the tree line of our yard, than out in the field. I loved flower gardening and from the age of 12 on, I adopted the duty of “beautifying the yard with color”. I loved the pets we had (and we had them all!). I loved the buffet of smells we would welcome in each season.  Hay for the horses, Dad’s eggs and coffee every morning, penicillin for the sick calf, Mom’s homemade buns, and one of my favourites – the smell of stirred up manure when dad was cleaning the corrals.

As most kids do, I had various collections. I went through a stage of collecting dairy cow figurines and décor for my room. I collected lighthouses when I was in love with Anne of Green Gables and the tales from the Maritimes. My sister and I collected little frogs in an ice cream pail (why not?!). On hot summer days the sweat trickled my brow as I, and others, laboriously collected rocks from the field to get the monetary award at the end. I collected vegetables from the garden for supper. My siblings and I had so much fun creating fun away from the TV (that is a whole other article that I won’t get started on today!)

In each of these things I was collecting, there was a purpose. Whether it was simple delight. Money for treats. Or food for the table. There was always a purpose in the collection.

Did you know God has a collection as well?

Psalm 56:8-9 reads, “You keep track of all my sorrows, You have collected my tears in your bottle, You have recorded each one in your book. On the day I call to you for help, my enemies will retreat. This I know, God is on my side.”

Nothing of your life goes unnoticed by our Heavenly Father – the good stuff and the hard stuff. Another verse I’ve read recently in Psalms says He “delights in every detail of our lives”. Nothing is insignificant where His children are concerned. Someday when I am a Mom, I will understand that commitment and love to a depth I know not right now.

But for now, be comforted my friends. God is collecting your details. He has a purpose for it. Whether it is a reward for you at the end. Some delight you don’t see yet. Or to feed someone else because of what you have gone through. There is a purpose in the collection.

Much love from me to you today ~

I Was Here*

I was talking with a friend recently about how I feel certain things are changing in my life and that I feel like for the first 28 years or so of my life I was missing it in certain key areas of life.  I’ve asked myself, “What was I thinking?”  Habits, or lack thereof, that now appeared to me as apathetic and lacking. She quickly removed the condemnation and said “I wouldn’t feel bad or like you were apathetic. You just needed fresh vision and something to work towards.”

Many things have re-sparked that vision in the past while.  Perhaps when we feel like we’re in a rut we need to sit ourselves down and see where the inspiration is lacking and where vision for life needs to be reset.  God created you for a purpose so if you’re still breathing, your job isn’t finished yet. And He isn’t done enjoying you 🙂

And for me, this song really sums it up. “I Was Here” by Lady Antebellum.

You will notice me
I’ll be leaving my mark like initials carved
In an old oak tree, you wait and see

Maybe I’ll write like Twain wrote
Maybe I’ll paint like Van Gogh
Cure the common cold, I don’t know
But I’m ready start ’cause I know in my heart

I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I’ve been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
Leave nothing less than something that says ? I was here?

I will prove you wrong
If you think I’m all talk, you’re in for a shock
‘Cause this dream’s too strong and before too long

Maybe I’ll compose symphonies
Maybe I’ll fight for world peace
‘Cause I know it’s my destiny
To leave more than a trace of myself in this place!

I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I’ve been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
And leave nothing less than something that says ?I was here?

And I know that I, I will do more than just pass through this life
I’ll leave nothing less than something that says ?I was here?
I was here