Monday Minute: He delights

 

Her little head lay on the pillow; cozy and just five-days-old, like an angel floating on a cloud. Our photographer graciously allowed us to hover and do what we needed to do as new parents. This was as foreign to us as it was to our little girl. How do we do this? Some parenting comes naturally, and the rest, I am learning, you figure out along the way. But the one thing that just comes without effort?

Love. It’s there in amounts beyond measure.

I’m generally an ‘exact’ person. I like to know what’s expected, what the recipe calls for so to speak. If it says “1 cup pressed flour” I know that I have to tamp it. But if it says “1 cup loose flour” say, that means scoop and throw it in.

But love, it can’t be measured – loose or tamped. It can’t be contained; doesn’t run out. It keeps growing, like a fig tree with roots that get deeper and deeper as the years pass.

That day? He could’ve popped a button he was so proud. Troy stood over the photographer as she tucked and propped our little girl into the perfect angelic position. I stood back, watching it all, capturing the moment. New Daddy or not, he was in love with his little girl.

As she grows, we both have commented on how much we are enamored and in love with our daughter. She doesn’t have to do anything special, she’s just ours and that’s enough. We look at pictures and videos of her after she has gone to bed. We delight in her because she is our daughter, before she does anything special or loves us back. In a heartbeat, we will do whatever it takes for her to grow and become all that God has destined for her.

Delight would be an appropriate word. We delight in her. And as the days and months pass, it makes me think how Father God feels about me. Yet it’s beyond the scope of what we feel for Elizabeth, a love that we can experience, but surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:19). And like friends told me, you can’t really grasp it until you have your own. I now understand the mama-bear, panic-gripped, tear-stinging, heart-jumping, joy-filled love that you only experience as a mommy or daddy.

We are there for her. Will there be days when we make decisions she doesn’t like? You betcha. Will there be discipline and ways we love her that don’t feel like love at the moment, but are for her good? Yep. Hard days, I’m sure. With love as the driving force, we will train her up in the way she should go (Proverbs 22:6). And cover her with our delight.

This picture of peace, of rest, as Daddy watches… let it be a reminder today of how much God is for you. How much He is there, loving, ready in a heartbeat to catch you if you fall. Ready to train you, delight in you; yes to challenge and cause you to grow. But, all in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Fake fire and burnt pots: how I want to mother

The fake fire is crackling on the tv; it will do for now.

Carrot soup is beginning to simmer on the stove; it’s become a favourite.

And I’m left with time to decide how to use it! Do any other new moms struggle with deciding how to use their free moments the best? I can be horrible at sticking to a goal or plan; even though I’m a planner.

What I wanted to write about was a moment I had last week; the random ones that come unexpectedly when Father God hugs your heart. I’d asked for it, just not in that moment. He seems to like to show up when I least expect it 😉

I was driving into the city to meet my husband at the mall to take our now 8-month-old daughter to meet Santa. She’d begun exploring syllables, and was doing a sweet ‘ba ba ba’ in the backseat. I looked in the rearview mirror and called back to her, “You are such a good talker, honey!” And the thought immediately came to me, “I want to mother out of healing, not out of perfection.” And like clockwork, Adele, Water Under the Bridge, came on the radio. Be it Adele’s powerful vocals or just simply the presence of God wrapping me up, I cried. Like He just hugged me and said to mother out of the renewed heart He is giving me, and not out of my expectations or having everything ‘just so’. For the past several years, I have felt like the gospel has been illuminated in a real way – and the truth of what Christ accomplished on the cross holds me closer in a way it never did before. I could almost cry just typing that. I am learning to see my sin for what it is, and how much hope we have in the cross. How much we miss of the cross, even as Christians! Oh let Him do His work, people. Let Him do His work.

Back to that moment…

Was Elizabeth actually talking in the backseat? She was trying. And doing great, in her way, at the stage she is at. And I want to mother, wife, daughter, friend, sister, homemake, write… out of healing, out of renewal … not out of my perfect stressed-out expectations. Even if they are slow-going attempts at first.

What does that look like? It’s taking shape. It means sipping tea with my husband before I feel I need to clean up the kitchen. It means getting on the floor with Elizabeth…a lot. It means being okay with having an emotional day, a tired day, a stressed day. Knowing God has it all. For me it means being okay with not knowing everything that is to come.

That moment for me as we drove to see Santa at the mall was a reminder that I am at my best, when I let God reveal, heal, and love me how He wants to.

Because if truth be told – the fake fire is on because all day, in the cold of winter, when you’re at home alone… can be long and lonely.

And the soup? It’s in the only big pot I HAVEN’T burnt something in lately. Yeah. “New mother-multitasking” I call it 😉

And this post? It’s not perfect. But my daughter is waking, and I want to go mother AND write without having all the things done I wanted to.

Colossians 3:17 (Amplified) says, “Whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus [and in dependence on Him], giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

I want to do what is before me out of the renewed-love-for-the-gospel-heart that God has given to me – be it as a wife, mother, friend, or family member. Doing it in dependence on Him.

So crackle on dear fake fire, I can enjoy you just as you are.

Monday Minute: Good good

lovedfeetI like to purge. Since I’ve moved a lot in my adult life, I’ve acquired and let go of a lot of furniture, décor, and clothing. Well, the other day I was ready to attack the closet again and become a pro at minimalizing. This round of purging didn’t last very long because I came across this shirt. It’s one thing I almost got rid of, that I am sure cost no more than $5 at American Eagle at some point over the past few years. It quickly became more of a pj shirt, and one I hardly ever wear now.

But as I nearly tossed it into a goodwill bag, I thought, “But I don’t ever want to forget that I am loved, and this t-shirt is such a good reminder!” Sentimentality won on that one

But really. I thought that perhaps you need a reminder to start your week, that…

You. Are. Loved.

Perhaps by your parents who bore you. The siblings that you grew up with. The friends you now share life with. But mostly, GOD loves you. It’s a message we can and should never tire of, and one I am praying threads deeper into the fabric of my heart. A message that keeps me awake at night in wonder. A peace that overwhelms when I need the reminder. A wind that blows away fear and worry because His love is greater. Not because of anything I have done, but all because of what He has.

It’s a message we can never get rid of. We can never purge it from our closet, no matter how familiar or bored we get with it. God is absolutely and completely in love with you and wants you.

I am loved. Ergo, the t-shirt stays 😉

Enjoy this video of a song Troy and I recently came across, and I can’t get out of my head.

Happy week! You are loved!