I don’t know about you, but when I’m away from home and my “normal routine” is off, my time in the Word is little and it starts to wear on me. Here and there I try to abide and let my heart connect with Holy Spirit throughout the day – but I end up feeling dry.
It’s a reminder to me that He’s the One Who gives me life.
So, here I find myself at home alone while everyone is out. Typing to you from my phone. Elizabeth is napping, so I popped a fresh pod in the keurig, grabbed some chocolate (you know, for baby 😉) and my Bible and journal. My relationship with the Lord has felt mechanical of late – I’ll be honest. But I am a firm believer that when we draw near Him, He draws near (James 4:8). And that when His word is sown, it NEVER returns void (Isaiah 55:11) – no matter how I feel.
So I find myself finishing the book of Matthew in this rare holiday quiet time. And I land in where Judas is plotting his betrayal of Jesus. He asks the chief priests (Matthew 26:14-16) what they’d give him for handing over Jesus. You know what he agreed to?
30 pieces of silver. Out of curiosity I googled what that was worth in Jesus’ day, and its equivalent to about five weeks’ wages. Think about what the average person makes in five weeks. And that’s what he gave Jesus up for.
What got me? Judas was in the group. He appeared to do all the right things. But deceit and betrayal was in his heart. He wanted power. Money. He was never really changed after all that time being with the Messiah.
And I think about all the forms of Christianity we can live out – church, bible studies, quiet time at home, serving. It means nothing if we are not transformed by His presence.
Later in the chapter, when Judas brings the chief priests to arrest Jesus in the garden, Jesus calls him “friend”, and tells him to do what he came to do.
And that is the gospel. Friends.
We can’t earn His grace. I’ve done nothing to deserve it. Yet even on my worst day, He would turn and call me friend. Give me another chance. Grace upon grace.
No matter if my forms and routine are out of whack on holidays, Jesus welcomes me. His grace is sufficient. And dare I say I don’t want any of it if He doesn’t transform and make me more His own and reveal Himself deeper to me in the midst of it.
It’s the heart. I guess that’s why God says to guard our heart – for out of IT flows life (Proverbs 4:23).
From this holiday quiet to your heart – if you’re feeling mechanical with the Lord lately – I encourage you to keep pursuing Him. Because even when we aren’t faithful, He is. Just keep sowing those seeds and let Him transform you. Let Him show you a side of Him you never knew. That’s what I am believing for ❤️