Now being a mom for six months, I’ve started to have some ‘ah ha’ moments. I understand why as a single gal when I went for coffee with friends, it was often quick or distracting. Hello, children. And when you do get together, all you talk about is your kids anyway. I understand why those first few months you feel like hiding out at home. You have a new normal to adjust to and your family of three (or however many) is of upmost importance to you. And when you do have a break, you just want to sleep anyway.
I’ve also learned of some easy ways ANYONE can bless a new mamma. Or a mamma with multiple kids. I think we are one of the easiest ‘tribes’ to please and make feel wonderful. So if you know of a couple who just had a baby, or is about to, here are some ideas of how you can make them feel amazing!
Before baby arrives…
- Freezer meals – breakfast and dinner! In fact, having meals and healthy options in the fridge is almost better than a ‘regular’ gift. Before Elizabeth arrived, my mother-in-law stocked us with several meals. I had also put together some slow-cooker freezer bags, breakfast sandwiches, Troy made waffles we could quickly toast, and we had also stocked up with some healthy quick Costco meals we could toss in the oven. Having both breakfast AND dinner options was wonderful, because, well, you NEED TO EAT! Moms need the calories but don’t always have the mental energy to put something healthy together. I don’t think I brought out the pots and pans for two weeks after she was born and oh how I loved that! Even if you go over to your friends house with cut up veggies and fruit, ready to eat, it’s an amazing blessings having healthy things to grab and fuel up on.
- Gift certificate for a pedicure and a massage. I did this about 10 days before Elizabeth was born and it was the most relaxing pedicure I’d ever had. Usually I hate pedicures (rub my callouses? No thank you!), but this one was amazing. Especially when your body is the largest its ever been, it’s nice to have polished toes and a relaxed back.
- Give Daddy and Mommy a gift certificate for a date night. It goes without saying that you treasure those moments as a couple before your family life changes forever. Troy and I took a four-day getaway to the coast and had some nice dinners out before our girl arrived and we’re so thankful we did! Not that we can’t now. But now it involves thinking about naptime, feedings, scheduling, and you think about her or talk about her the majority of the time you’re away from her! At least I do 😉 It changes your relationship and you want to treasure those times together.
- Clean their house! After Elizabeth was born, my Mom cleaned all my blinds and oh how I loved that! We had lived in a construction zone, so they needed it more often! This is something you could do before baby arrives to help the new mom feel like her home is clean and ready for a new baby. Wash her floors, clean the sheets, help with any storage needs she has … it’s SUCH A GIFT!
After baby arrives…
- Encourage them. Some of the biggest things I needed to hear were, “It’s normal to feel that way” or “you’re doing an amazing job!” Being called “Little Mamma” or having people tell me I was doing great would completely turn my day around. As new parents, you’re guessing. You don’t REALLY know what you’re doing and to have someone who has been there before tell you that you’re doing great goes a LONG way!
- Share your own mommy challenges. Somehow having another mom tell you how they struggled at first helps you feel like it’s normal to have an off day or struggle with self-doubt.
- Laugh about the hormones with them. Seriously. Make them laugh! I had an ‘ah ha’ moment at some point in the first few months that having a sense of humour about things would go a long way in sustaining me – both physically and mentally. Do I do this well? I try. And that’s all that matters. Actually, Troy told me one day that my sense of humour had increased or changed since becoming a mom. Happy sigh. I’m gonna need that humour. Hormones can be so wacky that if you as a friend, mentor or family member can find a way to put them at ease or make them laugh it will be a great gift to them!
- Pray for them, and tell them you are doing so. I was so blessed when friends would text that they were praying for me; about anything from nursing to sleep to hormones. But don’t just tell them you are praying for them, actually DO SO! Us mammas feel the prayers at 3am when we’re feeding, so keep praying for us! I so believe that God gifts us these children, and we are specifically graced for the kids we have. Psalm 127:3 actually says, “Children are a gift from the Lord.” When I remembered that, it made the hard days better, because I believe that whatever God gifts to me, He also gives me the grace for.
- Gift certificates! Whether it is for a Starbucks date for the parents, Superstore for groceries, or Costco for diapers and wipes, gift cards go a long way to help alleviate the sudden surge in the budget. It’s also fun for the parents to pick out what they like for their babe and having something to look forward to like a free latte is more wonderful than you know!
- Hug them. Seriously, just hug us.
- If you are going to go visit them and the new baby, ask them if they need anything from the grocery store. Not having to run out for milk and produce is a big gift!
- When you do visit, don’t stay long. The first few weeks especially, I found it hard to maintain conversation. I ran on adrenaline the first week or so, and then by week three, I was so tired. I should’ve rested more when she slept, but the fact was I liked the alone time or had things I wanted to do. But it’s true: rest when baby rests! So if you are going to visit a new baby, stay no longer than an hour. Drop a gift or do our dishes. Hold the baby, hug the parents, and be out the door! We can’t really maintain conversation beyond that point and even though we will insist you stay and cuddle our baby, what we really need is rest.
Having a baby has completely changed our lives. Not every day or moment is beautiful, but becoming parents has brought us more joy and love than we can describe. Having people rally around you goes such a long way as you navigate new waters! So if you’re wanting to be a blessing to someone, find some new parents – they will receive whatever you want to give!